


We'll Never Know What Might Have Been

by courtney_beth



Category: Mad Men
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-24
Updated: 2010-12-24
Packaged: 2017-10-14 00:50:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/143497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/courtney_beth/pseuds/courtney_beth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Pete brings his baby into the office, he has a long overdue heart-to-heart conversation with Peggy about their past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We'll Never Know What Might Have Been

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Crazy_Dumpling](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazy_Dumpling/gifts).



> This was originally intended to be a treat for Yuletide Madness, but it matured into a Yuletide-length story. I felt inspired by your prompt to write this, especially since it's a scene that needs to happen in the show. Enjoy your story!

_"Do it. Do whatever they say,” Don tells her. “Get out of here and move forward. This never happened. It will shock you how much it never happened."_

  
Peggy Olson has pushed the memories of her pregnancy and birth of her son so far back in her mind that now it feels almost like a dream. Four years later she’s career focused, and with that comes the big office with her name on the door and weekend drinks with clients and friends.

Except everything seems to fall apart around her when she sees Pete Campbell walk into the office holding his newborn daughter in his arms.

She knew this day would eventually come. Once she heard from Pete that he and Trudy were expecting their first child, she knew that her past may catch up with her. Deep down she just wishes she could have planned a meeting or went home early today. She does her best to avoid the throng of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce coworkers huddling into the conference room, as though Pete’s daughter is some sort of accolade to be praised.

Little do they know that she was there first. 

It is sadistic in a way - how that thought brings her pleasure and terror at the same time. 

Peggy wonders if perhaps she is a glutton for punishment, but tosses that idea aside as she resumes work on her latest ad campaign. And it provides a welcomed distraction until there’s a knock on her door.

Even with her window blinds drawn and door closed she knows who it is. Because only Pete Campbell would seek her out when she doesn’t want to be found. And against her better judgment she grants him permission to enter her office.

“I was surprised you didn’t join the others in seeing my daughter,” Pete says upon entering.  She watches as Pete balances the baby in his arms while he closes the door to her office.

Peggy pauses for a moment while she stares at the tiny girl in relation to the size of his hands, her breath catching a little in the back of her throat. “I wanted to get my project completed before my meeting with Don next hour,” she says. It’s part truth, part lie. Even she’s having trouble believing it.

But Pete just nods and walks closer to Peggy behind her desk, extending his arms and almost thrusting his daughter into Peggy’s own hands.

“A five-minute break wouldn’t be such a bad thing?” he suggests as Peggy shrugs, wrapping her arms around the baby and doing her best to not let Pete see how uncomfortable she is.

There’s a heavy silence in the room as Peggy looks down at the child. She can feel Pete’s gaze watching her as she gently rocks his daughter back and forth. She stares into eyes that look familiar - eyes that belonged to another child she has long tried to forget.

And then it happens. In an instance the memories of her pregnancy, birth and rehabilitation come back in a flash and she remembers everything. And the saddest part - how much Pete’s baby girl resembles the baby boy she hasn’t thought once about in four years.

“Her name is Tammy,” Pete finally says as smiles, proud of his accomplishment. 

“She looks just like you,” Peggy manages to choke out. She looks up at Pete and then back to the baby, continuing to rock her gently for a few moments before Pete drops a comment that catches her off guard.

“Is _this_ how it could have been?” he asks. It comes out as though he’s rehearsed this line, perhaps even this scene, a few times. “If things were different I mean. Could this have--”

“Pete...” she cuts him off.   “I....”

“I know this is not the time nor place, but I meant what I said in my office that day,” Pete explains as he gives Peggy and his daughter a pleading look, begging her to remember that day he came clean with his feelings. And it's not like she could forget because that's the day she told him about her pregnancy. “And when I see us together in your office as you hold my daughter, it makes me wonder....”

He is unable to find the right words. But Peggy, as always, knows what Pete is thinking.

“What may have been?”

Pete just nods, his gaze never breaking from Peggy. 

“There are times that I spend days contemplating if that little boy is happy and if he ever wonders why his father and mother didn’t want him,” Pete explains. “And when Trudy wasn’t sure if she could conceive a child, I had considered finding that little boy so that he could be with his father.”

Peggy just stares blankly at Pete, uncertain how to respond.

“And then I think about you, Peggy,” Pete says, a half-smile forming on his face. “I still meant what I said that day back in my office. You  are  the only one who gets me, and I think about how things could have been had we raised that child together.”

“Pete,” she pauses for a moment.  “I’m not that same girl from all of those years ago--”

“-- no, you’re better.” Pete chimes in, then looks down at his shoes. “And I’m better too.”

He’s right about her. Peggy knows that she has grown and matured into a successful, career-oriented woman with great ambition. When Don had told her to forget everything with her pregnancy in the hospital all those years ago, she took it to heart and turned her weaknesses into her strengths. 

And then she looks directly at Pete - watching the way his eyes are focused on his shoes and his fingers are fiddling with his wedding ring. Deep down she knows he’s the scared little boy he was all those years ago, even if he’s under the impression he’s more responsible because he’s a father and a partner in the firm.

Peggy will never tell him any of this because she feels that it is not her place to judge others. She instead walks toward Pete and hands him his daughter, glad to be freed of the responsibility. He looks at her with a confused look as she kisses his cheek.

“You are better,” she says softly. “Trudy has made you better and you owe it to Tammy to be the best father you can be.”

She gives Pete a hopeful smile as he nods in acknowledgement. The message has been received and he does what any person would do in this situation - leave her office before things continue to get more awkward.

Peggy Olson stands in the middle of her office a few moments after Pete closes the door, letting out  a sigh of relief, before collapsing on her couch. She can feel the tears well up in her eyes before they spill down her cheeks. 

She’ll never tell Pete that she secretly wonders some days what might have been, too.


End file.
